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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26656351">Don't Know You Need it 'Til It's Gone</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/pouty_hoseok/pseuds/pouty_hoseok'>pouty_hoseok</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Songfics [10]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Boys Being Boys, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Boys in Skirts, CEO Kang Taehyun, Crying, Cute, Denial of Feelings, Falling In Love, Feelings, Feelings Realization, First Dates, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, How Do I Tag, Idiots in Love, Inspired By What's Wrong With Secretary Kim? (TV), Kang Taehyun-Centric, M/M, Miscommunication, Oblivious Kang Taehyun, Songfic, Unresolved Romantic Tension, but it's resolved don't worry, ive never seen it tho</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:49:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,087</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26656351</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/pouty_hoseok/pseuds/pouty_hoseok</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Taehyun doesn't realize that he's the one who needs Beomgyu until the man leaves.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi Beomgyu/Kang Taehyun, Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun, Huening Kai/Jung Hoseok | J-Hope</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Songfics [10]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1599289</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>88</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Don't Know You Need it 'Til It's Gone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>tbh ive never seen What's Wrong with Secretary Kim so idk what I'm doing. luv u</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“I’m quitting.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyung looks up from the paperwork on his desk and at his secretary. The man stares back at him, pretty blond hair ruffled in a way that Taehyun might even go so far as to describe as ‘cute’. He’s wearing a cardigan and a pretty silk blouse that, for some reason, Taehyun wants to touch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>However, he’s also got a very serious expression on and Taehyun’s never seen it before, at least, not directed at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laughs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” he says as Secretary Choi shifts in place. “Secretary Choi, what did you just say?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m quitting,” he says and it’s then that Taehyun notices he has his bag with him and that’s strange because Secretary Choi always stays as late as Taehyun does. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want higher pay? Am I treating you incorrectly? More benefits?” Taehyun says, frowning and tilting his head because he’s quite sure that his secretary is very well-off. He looks into how much he’s been paying the man and frowns when he sees the hefty amount, turning back to Secretary Choi with a deepened frown. “Your pay seems very nice, but I can always-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“CEO-nim,” Secretary Choi says firmly, “I’m quitting.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t quit,” Taehyun says before he can process how douchey that sounds. However, there’s no going back now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Secretary Choi frowns at him and steps back. He shifts his weight on his feet and Taehyun can’t help noticing how expensive his shoes are. Of course, they’re not like Taehyun’s, though they’re definitely not cheap, that’s for sure. Then again, Taehyun does require all of his employees to dress accordingly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll have my notice in by tomorrow,” Beomgyu says awkwardly before he walks out. Taehyun watches him go, frowning. He gets up once the door to his office closes and walks out to Secretary Choi’s desk, sitting down and inspecting everything. He looks over the paperwork and checks the schedule, his frown further ingraining itself onto his face when he sees that there really isn’t much to do. He’s never given Secretary Choi a lot of work, or so he thinks, so he doesn’t understand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tells this to his Vice President, Choi Soobin, and it’s clear that Soobin has grown rather tired of being Taehyun’s part-time therapist. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, CEO-nim,” he says as he pinches the bridge of his nose. He sighs as he looks up, pushing his thin-framed glasses up his nose. “Why don’t you ask him?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun huffs and crosses his legs, scowling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you think I </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” he says. Soobin rolls his eyes as he takes a sip from his coffee. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you actually ask him or did you just come up with a bunch of reasons why he might not be happy to shove down his throat?” he says and Taehyun can only further deepen his scowl. Okay, </span>
  <em>
    <span>maybe</span>
  </em>
  <span> Soobin’s right, but he doesn’t see any other reason why Secretary Choi would want to leave. It just doesn’t make </span>
  <em>
    <span>sense</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He’s Taehyun’s most trusted and important employee, even beating Soobin in the rankings. Taehyun wouldn’t be where he is now if not for Secretary Choi. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just don’t understand,” Taehyun says as he sets his cup down on the sleek glass coffee table of the lounge room. “Why would Secretary Choi want to leave?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soobin coughs and chokes on his coffee. Taehyun frowns. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hyung, you’re not allowed to die,” he says as Soobin wipes his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>Secretary Choi’</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Soobin says when he regains his composure, though he still hits his chest a few times. “You still call him that?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun frowns. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, yes,” he says. He leans against the head of the chaise. “What am I supposed to call him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you even know his first </span>
  <em>
    <span>name</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Soobin says, sounding absolutely flabbergasted. Taehyun frowns and he thinks back to all of the files and papers and nametags, trying to remember. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my God, you don’t even know his </span>
  <em>
    <span>name</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Soobin says, groaning. “God, Taehyun, that’s so </span>
  <em>
    <span>mean</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sue me for not being able to remember his name!” Taehyun says, getting up and waving his arms in a very un-CEO-like manner. He sits back down and makes sure his hair is still pushed away from his face and scowls. “Do </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> know his name?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s Beomgyu,” Soobin says. He sighs again and pinches the bridge of his nose, </span>
  <em>
    <span>again</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “Do you know </span>
  <em>
    <span>anyone’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> name besides mine?” he says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well . . .” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soobin groans loudly and puts his head in his hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are you even a </span>
  <em>
    <span>CEO</span>
  </em>
  <span> if you don’t know the names of your employees?” he cries. Taehyun shrugs helplessly and Soobin walks off, leaving the poor man to his own devices. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun stands up with a sigh before he walks back to his office. He sits at his desk and stares at his little desk toy thing or whatever that Hueningkai had given to him as a joke, watching the planets spin. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Did I do something wrong?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Taehyun thinks, frowning. He chews on his lower lip and cranes his neck to check if Secretary Choi has returned yet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The desk is unusually empty. Taehyun tries to picture someone else sitting there, instead of the familiar blond mop of Secretary Choi’s hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He frowns when he can’t. Taehyun sighs and gets up after looking outside and noting the darkness that seems to have bathed the city, though the lights on the buildings glitter like their own sort of stars. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun sighs and shakes his head as he packs up. Usually, Secretary Choi would be getting up, shooting him a tired but still warm smile as he did. Now, though, Taehyun is alone, walking to the elevator. He almost walks to where the bus station is, since Secretary Choi never seems to use the car he bought him, though he manages to stop himself. He sighs again and shakes his head at himself, heading over to his car and shivering in the chilly late-fall breeze. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gets home and is greeted by his cat, Hobak, and later his snake, Aengdu. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun shakes his head at himself as he eats, drinking wine that he doesn’t quite like. His condo has a wonderful view of the Seoul skyline, though Taehyun can’t bring himself to appreciate it when it’s something that’s grown so very normal and is such a minimal part of his routine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He finishes eating and washes his dishes before getting ready for bed. He’s not too tired but he knows he’ll feel awful tomorrow if he doesn’t sleep. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun grunts to himself, though a smile tickles the corners of his lips when Hobak snuggles up to him. He sighs heavily and allows the cat to move closer before closing his eyes and allowing sleep to take his mind over. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Truth be told, Taehyun forgets about Secretary Choi wanting to quit. So, when the man comes up and places a letter of resignation on his desk, Taehyun hasn’t a single clue what it is. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s this?” he says, not really paying attention as he looks over charts and files. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s my letter of resignation, sir,” Secretary Choi says. Taehyun stops what he’s doing and takes his reading glasses off, placing them nearby as he turns to Beomgyu. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” he says, waiting for the man to explain that it’s just a joke. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t and Taehyun feels something ugly rear its head in his chest as he picks the envelope up. He frowns and opens it up, skimming over the letters on the page. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He swallows hard and puts it in his desk drawer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it real?” Taehyun says because he really wants to know if the one person who’s stayed the longest is really going to leave him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t understand, sir,” Secretary Choi says. “Is what real?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your resignation,” Taehyun says and Secretary Choi shifts in place. “Are you actually going to leave?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Secretary Choi picks at his nails and nods. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just - it’s been great, really, it has,” he says in a way that conveys otherwise, “but . . . I need something else.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun feels himself nod, yet he doesn’t really process the action as he takes the letter and puts it in his desk drawer. Secretary Choi turns around and walks back to his desk, then, and suddenly, everything feels far too real. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite himself (and also upon recommendation by Soobin), Taehyun invites his secretary out for dinner. The man agrees and then Taehyun finds himself driving out to pick him up at his apartment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you so much, Taehyun-ssi,” Beomgyu says as they eat. Taehyun shrugs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s nothing, really,” he says because he’s not quite sure what else there is. Beomgyu smiles kindly at him and his eyes sparkle so prettily and Taehyun feels his heart do something very strange. His stomach feels strange as well and Taehyun drinks some of the expensive wine they ordered to get rid of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, thank you, really,” Beomgyu says. “I’m really sorry about quitting, I just - I needed something new, you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun, to be honest, doesn’t really. Because he’s never been discontent with his life, always pleased enough to never feel any need for too much change. His career has been full of smooth sailing as has most of his life, so he’s never quite felt the reason for trying to “find a new path” as some would say it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I suppose so,” he says. Beomgyu’s eyes crinkle in the corners. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for understanding,” he says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun really, really doesn’t understand. But he smiles and nods. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They both seem to forget whatever bonding might’ve happened that night when Monday sneaks up on them. Taehyun walks briskly into his office and nods at a few choice employees, sitting down with a scowl as he looks over the papers. He opens his laptop and grabs a pen as he begins to write things down, his jacet already resting on the back of his chair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sir?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not now,” Taehyun says. He taps his toe and checks how much they’ve been making. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sir, please-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said not now!” Taehyun snaps. He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Just leave me a note or shoot me an email, I don’t care.” He turns back to the computer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Secretary Choi, reschedule my meeting for next Thursday at 2:30,” he calls. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sir!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun looks up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Secretary Choi?” he says, frowning and tilting his head. There’s a young woman with him and Taehyun’s brow furrows. “What are you doing?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have to interview this woman for my position,” Secretary Choi says. Taehyun scowls and checks his schedule. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought I only had a meeting today,” he says. He peers up at Secretary Choi through his bangs. “That you’re supposed to reschedule.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sir, I wrote it down for you and I sent an email,” Secretary Choi sighs. He looks over at the woman and offers her an apologetic smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Beomgyu,” Taehyun says, wincing when the name slips from his lips, “there are more urgent matters at hand. She’ll have to wait . . .” he pauses and checks his laptop, skimming through the papers on his desk “. . . either thirty minutes or until tomorrow. Today’s not the day I’m doing interviews.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But sir,” Secretary Choi says, “I’m leaving in two weeks. You need to have a secretary by then.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It can wait,” Taehyun says. He makes a shooing motion with his hands before going back to work, a scowl ingrained into his features. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun doesn’t end up finishing in thirty minutes, though he doesn’t pay any attention to the young woman leaving as Secretary Choi hurriedly apologizes to her. He eats lunch in his office, still working as he does. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Later, when night has long since fallen and the office is empty lest for Taehyun and Beomgyu, Taehyun sits back with a groan and rubs his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“God, have I only hired a bunch of incompetent nincompoops?” he says to himself. He sighs, shaking his head as he gets to his feet and grabs his jacket, packing up. Beomgyu is doing the same and he looks over when Taehyun exits his office. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unlike his usual smile, Beomgyu’s face remains blank. For some reason, Taehyun feels a pain in his chest. They walk silently to the elevator and Taehyun presses the button, staring ahead at the doors without much emotion if any at all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to walk me today,” Beomgyu says as Taehyun makes his way over to the bus stop, shivering. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” he says, frowning at Beomgyu. He doesn’t understand because he’s walked Beomgyu to the bus station ever since he was hired as his secretary all those years ago. “Did you get a car?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beomgyu looks away and shakes his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just - it’s fine,” Beomgyu says. “I don’t need you to walk me, you know?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But-” Taehyun bites his tongue to stop himself before he nods and turns around to walk back to his own car. He forces himself to stare straight ahead as he does, refusing to make it seem as if he cares as much as he does. If Beomgyu doesn’t want him to walk him to the bus, then Taehyun won’t walk him to the bus, fine. That’s fine, that’s great, really, it is. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>(And if Taehyun can’t even eat anything that night and he feels his stomach churning endlessly because he’s scared of what could happen to Beomgyu, well, then that’s no one’s business.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he gets to work and sees Beomgyu at his desk, Taehyun feels relief wash over him. Once in his office, he lets out a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding, sitting down and scooting toward his desk. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mood is soured when he sees the papers for the applicants for Beomgyu’s job. Taehyun scowls as he picks them up and angrily flips through. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get new ones,” he says snappily as he walks over to Beomgyu’s desk and drops the papers in the waste bin nearby. “I don’t want any of them.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But, sir-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun turns and shoots him a glare. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said to find new ones,” he says, his voice dripping with venom. “You either do that or you can’t quit. I need a secretary.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Secretary Choi nods meekly before he begins looking through his laptop. Taehyun sighs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get me a coffee,” he says. He takes out a wad of cash and drops it on Secretary Choi’s desk. “Here. I need it if I’m going to have to spend my day looking through the papers of a bunch of incompetents.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun doesn’t bother waiting as he stomps away, positively seething at the prospect of having to look for new secretaries. He really doesn’t want to replace the man. He’s been by Taehyun’s side for his entire life, a constant in a hectic world that shifts constantly and leaves Taehyun hardly any time to catch his breath. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gets back to his office and puts his head in his hands, not bothering to be careful of his hair. He checks his schedule and is tempted to chuck the computer out of his window when he sees that he has to meet the CEO of another company, Hwang Seuncheol. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Of all people,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Taehyun thinks as he shakes his head and tries not to scream. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Taehyun-ssi!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Speak of the devil and he shall appear, hm?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun doesn’t bother mustering a smile as he looks up, scowl imprinted on his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is it, Hwang?” he says and Seungcheol laughs as he sits down. Beomgyu comes in a little after, the coffee held in his hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“CEO-nim,” he says, a bit breathless and Taehyun really does feel a scream bubbling up in his throat this time because Seungcheol is looking at Beomgyu in a way that makes him want to tear the other man to shreds. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My, who is this?” Seongcheol says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Secretary Choi,” Taehyun says, his teeth gritted, “leave us.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Secretary Choi nods and scampers out after depositing the coffee on Taehyun’s desk. He sits down and begins working, both CEOs eying him as he does so. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is he new?” Seungcheol says and Taehyun ignores him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s been here since we started out,” Taehyun says carefully. Seungcheol hums curiously, craning his neck to get a better view of the blond. Taehyun is very, </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> tempted to throw the steaming hot coffee at him. He’s sure Seungcheol could afford a new suit if he did. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s his name?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is this, a background check on my secretary?” Taehyun says as he sits back and laces his fingers together, crossing his legs under the table. He scowls. “What do you want, Seuncheol?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re missing an honorific there, but I’ll let it slide,” Seungcheol says and Taehyun feels himself tense. The other man leans back in his seat and stares at Taehyun. “Anyway, you need my help.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun scoffs and rolls his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Keep telling yourself that,” he says. He drinks some more coffee. “It won’t become true, no matter what they tell you in daycare.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungcheol laughs and clutches his chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m hurt!” he cries and Taehyun simply rolls his eyes. “Taehyun, I thought we were friends!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun hums as he turns back to his laptop, scrolling through before looking over at the papers strewn over his desk. He scowls again and continues to flip through them, marking things down and picking out the little mistakes of his employees. God, how did he ever hire such </span>
  <em>
    <span>idiots</span>
  </em>
  <span>?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anyway, before you so </span>
  <em>
    <span>ruthlessly</span>
  </em>
  <span> insulted-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“May I come in?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is it?” Taehyun says. Secretary Choi opens the door shyly and hands over several new files. He tucks a curl of hair behind his ear and Taehyun’s eyes dart suspiciously to Seuncheol, then back to his secretary. The papers are crushed in his hands as his grip tightens. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“These are the new applicants,” Secretary Choi squeaks and Taehyun puts them in his drawer with Secretary Choi’s still unopened letter of resignation, his jaw tensed. He slams it shut and watches as the blond quickly leaves, tripping over his cardigan as he does. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s awfully cute, isn’t he?” Seungcheol says and Taehyun thinks he should really watch his mouth because the idea of throwing something very heavy and large at him is growing more and more appetizing with each thought from between his lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m his boss,” Taehyun says as he drinks more of the (frustratingly perfect) caramel macchiato Secretary Choi brought him. “It’d be unprofessional and inappropriate for us to be in a relationship together.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wasn’t asking for you,” Seungcheol says. Taehyun’s knuckles go white where he grips his drink. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You will </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> date or have sexual intercourse with my secretary,” he snaps and Seungcheol laughs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When’s the last time you got laid, Kang?” Seungcheol says instead of responding to Taehyun’s demand. The older CEO sniffs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s none of your business,” he says. He frowns and looks back at the papers on his desk, peering up at Seuncheol through his bangs. “Anyway, aren’t you here for business? Some deal or something?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungcheol giggles, he fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>giggles</span>
  </em>
  <span> and Taehyun wants to beat him up until he’s unrecognizable and Beomgyu stops tucking his hair behind his ears for him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your numbers are going down,” he says bluntly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And?” Taehyun says. He shuffles some papers. “We’ll come back. We always do, don’t we?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re scared,” Seungcheol says bluntly. Taehyun forces himself to keep his gaze from straying to Beomgyu. Seungcheol sees anyway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is he leaving?” Seungcheol says even though he most definitely knows the answer as Taehyun nearly snaps the pen in his hands in two. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s none of your business,” he says, and Seungcheol, once again, laughs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is if you’re gonna get all pouty and shit about it,” Seungcheol says. He gets up and walks over to Taehyun’s shelf. “Where do you keep the Brandy? We’re gonna need some liquor to coax it out of you, I’m sure.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungcheol leaves, half-drunk, while Taehyun watches with a bored expression. He doesn’t feel any sort of remorse, but Taehyun’s long since felt anything for anyone who isn’t a part of his company and Soobin’s boyfriend because the guy really did help him out of a really rough patch in his life that no amount of money could help. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>To be honest, though, Taehyun doesn’t understand emotions much. He likes things when they’re straightforward and easy to understand, when they fall into place and change with a certain pattern that he can pick out. He doesn’t like how people will cry when you push the right buttons and there isn’t a single explanation and he doesn’t like how they just </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> things spontaneously without reason and when they leave like it’s as easy as breathing and Taehyun is left to pick up the pieces on his own. He doesn’t like when things don’t make sense and, most of the time, Taehyun simply decides against trying to figure out why. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yet with Secretary Choi, no, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Beomgyu</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Taehyun wants to know. He can’t explain why and, to be honest, he’s not sure if he really wants to know what’s motivating him to figure out what on earth has caused the man to feel like leaving. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yet here Taehyun is, asking Hueningkai for assistance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you asking </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” the younger man says as he pushes his hair back from his face. He checks his phone and smiles before typing in something with his right hand while his left lifts his coffee and brings it to his lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because you’re friends with him?” Taehyun tries. Hueningkai laughs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can just say you want relationship advice, you know that, right?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun huffs, crossing his arms and shaking his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> want relationship advice,” he says. Hueningkai hums, still on his phone, and Taehyun cranes his neck curiously. He spots the many heart emojis near the contact name and deduces that he’s texting his boyfriend, Hoseok. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm. You’re jealous of me an’ Seokie?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun rolls his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you’re not going to be helpful, then I’ll call Soobin-Hyung. I’m sure you’d love that seeing as you only want to text your boyfriend instead of helping me figure out what’s wrong with my secretary before he quits.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hueningkai looks up and sticks his tongue out at him before putting his phone down. He sets the coffee on the table as well and crosses his legs, leaning against the right side of the chair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you asking me because we both have mildly traumatic events from our childhoods that made us both emotionally numb?” Hueningkai says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I never said a thing about that,” Taehyun says. “Besides, aren’t you planning on proposing? I don’t think that’s necessarily “emotionally numb” as you say.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hueningkai laughs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s because I went to counseling and I got myself a boyfriend who’s showing me how love works,” he says and Taehyun rolls his eyes again. At this point, his eyes are going to be rolled into the back of his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I go to counseling,” he says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Talking to Soobin-Hyung doesn’t count as ‘counseling’,” Hueningkai says as he picks at his nails. He sighs and shakes his head, brown curls bouncing. “Really, Taehyun, you do need to learn how to be emotionally available if you want him to open up to you. You’re like the most uptight person in the entire </span>
  <em>
    <span>world</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m emotionally available,” Taehyun says even though he knows it’s a lie. “I just don’t have the time or dedication required to sustain a romantic relationship of any sort.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can clearly hook up with people, though,” Hueningkai grumbles under his breath. Taehyun kicks him in the shin and the man cries out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This was a gift from my sister!” he cries as he clutches the suit. Taehyun rolls his eyes and scoffs, leaning back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Enough whining. What do you think I should do?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Counseling?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun scowls at him and throws a paperclip at him. “No, dumbass. That’ll take more than two weeks to unload all of my emotional trauma. What can I do that’ll have </span>
  <em>
    <span>immediate</span>
  </em>
  <span> results?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hueningkai shrugs. “Nothing?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun throws another paperclip at him and the man laughs as he gets up and leaves, limping because he’s an overdramatic man-baby. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Without any help or guidance from his friends, Taehyun asks Beomgyu to come to his office. Later, of course, as the sun sets and paints the sky while shifting into a bright orange that shines dangerously against the horizon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Secretary Choi,” Taehyun says as the door opens to reveal a shy and very tired-looking Beomgyu. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“CEO-nim?” Beomgyu says, tilting his head as he steps inside. He closes the door behind him after a little motion from Taehyun. “You wanted to see me?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun nods. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I did,” he says as he takes a sip from his glass. The brandy, already a warm amber color, catches on the light from the sinking sun and seems to shine in the room as it reflects off of the glass. “Come, sit down.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beomgyu shuffles over and takes a seat on the couch. He looks incomprehensively small there, what with his curled blonde hair and a pretty black sweater over the crisp white dress shirt tucked into a pair of slacks. His silver-framed glasses slide down his nose a bit and he pushes them back up, staring at Taehyun curiously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here,” Taehyun says, sliding a glass in his direction. Beomgyu takes a small sip and shifts on the couch, curling up a bit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is there some sort of event that I don’t know of?” he says. Taehyun hums and looks out the window. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just thought it’d be a little like a last huzzah before you leave,” he says. Beomgyu seems to frown in the corner of his eye, though Taehyun pretends it doesn’t bother him as he leans back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Beomgyu says, staring at the liquid in his glass. He licks his lips and Taehyun’s eyes track the movement. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t sound pleased,” Taehyun says, laughing a bit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, no, of course not!” Beomgyu says, waving his hands and putting his glass down. “No, thank you for inviting me, really.” He smiles at Taehyun and it soothes the wound. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shut up, stupid,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Taehyun thinks as he hums and takes another sip of his drink. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you like . . . brandy?” Beomgyu says, pausing to look at the bottle. Taehyun hums and shrugs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine,” he says. “Hueningkai gave it to me “for the aesthetic”,” he says, doing air-quotes and rolling his eyes. He looks up at Beomgyu. “Do you not?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shrugs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like you said, it’s fine,” he says and Taehyun hums, nodding. “Not exactly an alcohol guy.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun laughs. “I can’t say I expected you to be.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beomgyu smiles at him, taking another sip of his drink. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beomgyu ends up rather drunk (though not totally wasted) sometime later, Taehyun feeling a bit tipsy. Beomgyu stumbles over and curls up beside him, his head resting on Taehyun’s chest. He smells like oranges (or is it his shampoo?) with hints of honeysuckle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you leaving, Beomgyu-ssi?” Taehyun murmurs as Beomgyu plays with his loosened tie. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beomgyu hums and shrugs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wanna . . . I’m only ever ‘Secretary Choi’,” he mumbles and Taehyun frowns down at him. “I don’t - I wanna be Beomgyu.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” Taehyun says. “You </span>
  <em>
    <span>are</span>
  </em>
  <span> Beomgyu. And Secretary Choi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm, no, not really,” Beomgyu says, his voice slurred. “Just - everything is addressed to Secretary Choi.” He pouts. “Secretary Choi, Secretary Choi, Secretary Choi!” he says in a squeaky voice. He sighs and shakes his head, letting it fall back so he’s looking up at Taehyun. “I bet my husband will call me ‘Secretary Choi’.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You want to get married?” Taehyun says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, yes, of course, I do,” Beomgyu says as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. He frowns up at Taehyun. “Don’t you?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s Taehyun’s turn to frown and he’s tempted to turn away. No, he’s not available for any sort of marriage that isn’t arranged, and even then it’s unlikely that the relationship would do well. His mother wants to get him married but Taehyun’s refused every time, insisting that he’s not ready, that the company isn’t stable enough. He’ll have to find a new excuse sooner or later because, really, Taehyun’s been doing fine for years. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” he says. He shrugs and Beomgyu scowls at him as he’s moved. “I’ve never thought about it much.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” Beomgyu says, his voice rather cute as he draws the word out. Taehyun hums and nods. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you ever even </span>
  <em>
    <span>kissed</span>
  </em>
  <span> anyone?” Beomgyu says and Taehyun laughs because who hasn’t at this age? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” he says, shrugging again and earning yet another whine of protest from the man resting against his chest. Beomgyu’s cheeks, already red from the alcohol, seem to darken even more. Then, he’s shifting around and slinging one leg over Taehyun’s lap, moving so he’s straddling him. The younger man stares up at him and Beomgyu licks his lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Prove it,” he whispers, his voice husky and his breath smelling of the brandy he’s so very drunk on. Taehyun swallows hard as hands grip his wrists and guide them to rest on Beomgyu’s hips. A not-so-subtle shift with intentions that aren’t hidden at all has him squeaking and Taehyun looks up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, Secretary Choi-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Beomgyu</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” the man says. He grabs Taehyun’s tie and begins to loosen it, dropping it to the side when he finishes. Deft fingers begin to carefully unbutton the CEO’s shirt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Beomgyu,” Taehyun breathes and his secretary looks at him through his lashes, eyes soft and sensual as he does. Taehyun swallows hard and forces himself to fight any of his physical reactions to having a pretty boy in his lap. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Beomgyu-ssi, you’re drunk,” Taehyun says gently. He snakes his hands under Beomgyu’s thighs to try and lift him up. Instead, though, it draws a squeal from the blond as he wraps his legs around Taehyun’s torso and uses it to tug himself closer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so </span>
  <em>
    <span>strong,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” he says happily. He slides one finger under Taehyun’s collar and peels the dress shirt away from his torso, peeking inside. Taehyun slaps his hand away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Beomgyu-ssi-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kiss me,” Beomgyu breathes and Taehyun feels his heart’s beating come to a stop. He stares at the other man, his tongue heavy in his mouth and a lump clogging his throat. He swallows. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“-Not as drunk as you think,” Beomgyu says. His fingers comb through Taehyun’s hair. “I just tend to act this way. Come on, CEO, kiss me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun stares at him. Beomgyu tilts his head, leaning forward until his lips are pressed against Taehyun’s, soft and tasting of liquor. He grips the other’s hips and tugs him closer, lips moving sloppily against each other. He feels Beomgyu’s hands tugging on his hair, combing through the chocolate strands. Taehyun hears him gasp as they pull away, lips swollen and spit-slicked. He begins to kiss down the slope of Beomgyu’s neck, greedily roving his tongue over the skin and sucking bruises onto it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“God, you’re so hot,” Beomgyu says and Taehyun sinks his teeth into his collarbone, making sure to leave a mark. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s go to my place,” Taehyun pants as he pries himself away. He pushes his hair back from his face as Beomgyu looks up from the floor, his eyes blown wide while his lips swell from kissing. He takes Taehyun’s hand and they grab their things before leaving, both men thrumming with excitement. Taehyun drives them to his apartment (it’s not very far and Taehyun would rather not get caught going out with his secretary), hands fumbling with the keys before he gets in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Needless to say, he doesn’t wake up alone. Beomgyu lies beside him, his eyes closed as his blonde hair catches the sunlight and seems to glow with it. Taehyun sighs and closes his eyes, combing his fingers through Beomgyu’s hair as he does. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun ends up getting up and showering, grabbing some spare clothes for Beomgyu and leaving them in the bedroom before he heads out to feed Hobak. Aengdu rouses as well and pokes his head out when Taehyun walks by, probably wondering what caused all of last night’s commotion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hobak!” Taehyun calls as he shakes the cat’s food bowl. A streak of brown fur darts out from under the couch and Taehyun laughs as Hobak begins to shovel his face full of food. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There he is,” a raspy voice says from behind him. Taehyun looks over his shoulder and smiles at Beomgyu. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” he says, “how’d you sleep?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wonderful, especially after that good dicking,” he says. Taehyun, embarrassed, flushes and squawks, hitting him with his phone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my God, you can’t just say things like that!” he says. Beomgyu laughs and wraps his arms around Taehyun’s middle, his chin resting on his shoulder as Taehyun scrolls through his phone to figure out what to order for breakfast. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That place has really good coffee,” Beomgyu says when he scrolls past one. He grabs Taehyun’s hand and looks through, clicking on it. Taehyun frowns but doesn’t protest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soon enough, they’re sitting in the living room together, drinking coffee and eating pastries. Taehyun supposes it’s good, though he thinks that’s because Beomgyu’s eyes are sparkling as he eats, a smile on his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So,” Taehyun says as he shifts in place, “what now?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beomgyu stops eating and looks up at him. He swallows and stares at the other man. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” he says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well,” Taehyun says, moving around to get comfortable, “we just hooked up.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beomgyu laughs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he says, “I remember. I was there.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun swallows hard and nods. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you’re my secretary.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beomgyu hums and nods, crossing his legs and sitting back. Taehyun stares at him, waiting for an answer while trying to make it seem like he isn’t eager to hear what Beomgyu’s going to say. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think we should just see what happens,” Beomgyu says. He shrugs. “I’m not going to be your secretary for much longer, am I?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun nods, his tongue heavy in his mouth and his coffee bitter as he swallows it. He looks up and sees Beomgyu smiling kindly at him, and the expression leaks into his own face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he says, smiling back. “Yeah, let’s just see how it goes.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their relationship becomes a strange one after that night in Taehyun’s apartment. He’s not quite sure what it is, to be honest, as Secretary Choi continues to bring in new possible candidates for </span>
  <em>
    <span>his</span>
  </em>
  <span> job and Taehyun continues to be petty and decline them. He made several different people cry in one day, though it’s most definitely not a first. Taehyun’s never been a particularly nice person, as the world of business is ruthless and holds no space or mercy for those who will stop to coddle others. Taehyun is a firm believer in no-coddling when it comes to, well, pretty much everything, though he doubts it’s truly a good thing. He can (somewhat) see himself through the eyes of others and he can see how he’s cold and cut off from the rest of the world because of his upbringing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yet, to Taehyun, it seems a bit as if Secretary Choi is slowly chipping away at the walls around his heart. And it terrifies Taehyun because it’s new and he can’t stand the thought of being truly vulnerable in front of someone. What he does for Soobin and Hueningkai doesn’t count - Taehyun isn’t actually open with them. They’re allowed to look in at him, to catch glimpses of the scared little boy through a pair of heavily rose-tinted glasses so all of the red flags just look normal. And it’s a choice, really, because Taehyun would rather trade the possibility of joy for safety. He doesn’t want to lose what he’s worked so hard to build just because his secretary says he’s leaving. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s yet another reason as to why he’s so desperate to keep Beomgyu with him. Taehyun doesn’t want to lose his defenses to Beomgyu, though it seems as if that’ll happen sooner or later even if he does stay. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun sighs and takes his glasses off to rub his eyes, trying not to scream or combust in his seat. He shakes his head and looks up and out of his office, staring out at Secretary Choi as he runs about and tries to pull things together to hire Taehyun a new secretary before the two weeks mark. He feels something in his chest ache at the thought of never seeing him again and he frowns, chewing on his lower lip. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why aren’t you even trying to cooperate?” Soobin says, not bothering to knock as he walks right in. Taehyun looks up at him and his frown turns into a scowl as he shakes his head and goes back to the paperwork he was doodling all over. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what you mean,” he says. Soobin laughs at him as he sits down and crosses his legs. He adjusts his own glasses (since he doesn’t trust Yeonjun not to stab his eye out when putting his contacts in) and leans back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure you don’t,” he says as he does, grinning. Taehyun huffs as he flips through the papers (they’re old reports he probably should’ve thrown out a couple of months ago), trying to be subtle as he watches Secretary Choi run around. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s really trying, you know, don’t you?” Soobin says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun hums, trying to seem uninterested. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not happy that he wants to replace himself, are you?” Soobin says and Taehyun tries not to yell at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s a good secretary,” Taehyun says as he continues to pretend that he’s doing something important. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have a crush on him.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun stops and looks up, scowling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” he says. Soobin shrugs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have a crush on your secretary,” he says and Taehyun hears an awful sound from his pen breaking the paper. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he says even as his eyes stray to Beomgyu and his heart flutters in his chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soobin’s gaze follows Taehyun’s own. He nods to himself before turning back to the other man. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should take him out to dinner,” he says. “Don’t you think he’s been doing too much? I mean, sure, you hooked up and all, but that shit only lasts so long. Take the guy out for dinner, will ya?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun turns red. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You - we did </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> partake in any sexual intercourse whatsoever,” he says indignantly. “I am - it’s absolutely mortifying that you’d assume such a thing-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, be quiet,” Soobin says. “Everyone knows that you guys had sex. You weren’t subtle, that’s for sure. But you should take him out to dinner. Who knows, maybe you’ll get some.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun walks over and kicks him until he leaves. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Secretary Choi?” Taehyun says as he walks out to go to the bathroom. Beomgyu looks up and adjusts his glasses, his cardigan sleeve falling down to bunch around his elbow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, sir?” he says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Schedule a dinner for me at eight, alright?” he says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beomgyu nods, rubbing his eyes before typing it in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sir?” he says as Taehyun begins to walk off. “Is there any reason why? Should I email anyone? Any notifications I should send out?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why, yes, actually,” Taehyun says, stopping in his tracks and turning around. He grins widely. “Have any plans tonight, Beomgyu-ssi?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The dinner is nice. Taehyun laughs and talks with Beomgyu as they eat, sharing stories from their childhoods. Or, well, Beomgyu does, though Taehyun chooses to remain silent on the topic. Thankfully, the other man doesn’t seem to mind as they finish eating, deciding to go out to get coffee before walking around the city. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s wonderful weather for hot chocolate, isn’t it?” Beomgyu says as they walk, nearly drowning in his scarf. Taehyun hums, nodding in agreement. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is,” he says, his hands hidden in his pockets as he shivers. Beomgyu smiles at him, leaning his head on his shoulder. One of his hands snakes into Taehyun’s pocket and the CEO squeaks in surprise, looking over. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You seemed cold,” he says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beomgyu giggles, closing his eyes. They continue to walk, their hands stuck in Taehyun’s pocket as the steam from Beomgyu’s hot chocolate and Taehyun’s coffee. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They walk until Taehyun’s feet begin to hurt, then they head to Taehyun’s car. The younger man drops Beomgyu off at his apartment after and then heads back to his own apartment, showering and getting ready for bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next morning, Taehyun realizes that he has one week left to keep Beomgyu from leaving. Yet, for some reason, he doesn’t feel stressed at all, and he gets up, stretching happily before going around and taking care of his pets. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gets to work and greets his employees before walking toward his office, taking things out and running through them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mr. Kang!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Welp, there goes Taehyun’s good mood. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man scowls as Seungcheol prances in, definitely with a need to ruffle his feathers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mr. Hwang, please wait!” Beomgyu says, running in. Taehyun’s breath catches in his throat when he sees him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you seen your </span>
  <em>
    <span>lovely</span>
  </em>
  <span> secretary?” Seungcheol purrs, gesturing to the blond. Beomgyu looks at his feet and folds his hands in front of him, avoiding eye contact with Taehyun. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Secretary Choi,”  Taehyun says, his throat dry as he eyes him. Beomgyu looks absolutely </span>
  <em>
    <span>wonderful </span>
  </em>
  <span>in his pretty pencil skirt, tights, blouse, and heels. Taehyun thinks he’s about to pass out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sir,” Beomgyu says, nodding his head. He shifts in place. “Um, Mr. Hwang, please-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I’m sure I scheduled a meeting,” Seungcheol says, waving his hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, yes, but I need to tell Mr. Kang first,” Beomgyu says. He looks over and out at his desk. Nearby, a small group of people sits. “He also has to interview those people out there.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, it’ll be fine, won’t it?” Seungcheol says. He wiggles his eyebrows at Taehyun. “After all, it’s not like-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Secretary Choi, I’ll call you back in when we’re finished,” Taehyun says hurriedly. Beomgyu frowns at him. Seungcheol smirks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“O-Oh,” he says. He shifts in place. “I’m - I guess I’ll be going, then.” He bows at Taehyun and walks out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s in the dress code?” Seungcheol says as he sits down. Taehyun hums, watching his secretary instead of the other CEO. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not like he’s dressed informally,” he says. He sighs and rubs his eyes. “What do you want, Seungcheol?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A lot of things, really,” Seungcheol says. “First of all, I think you should stop ogling your secretary and start working. He’s leaving next week, isn’t he?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun stiffens. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s none of your business,” he says, scowling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m also taking him to dinner,” Seungcheol says and Taehyun feels a sudden stab in his heart. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” he says, breathless with shock as his eyes widen and he stares at the other man with wide eyes. “You’re - what?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungcheol’s eyes are mischievous and prideful as he pretends to examine his nails. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why, yes,” he says. “We’ve gotten rather close over the past few days, don’t you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But - I thought-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, really, he’s just your employee, isn’t he?” Seungcheol says and Taehyun feels his chest closing up as he swallows hard. “It’s not your decision whom he dates. Let the man live, will you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Taehyun hisses before he can stop himself. “No, you’re lying.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungcheol arches an eyebrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” he says curiously. “Do tell, I’d truly like to know what else dear Beomgyu has planned for tonight.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun struggles and fumbles for words. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He’s mine</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Taehyun thinks as Seungcheol watches proudly. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He’s mine and you can’t have him. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He slumps back instead of saying anything and sighs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” he says, shaking his head. “Fine, I don’t care. Don’t let the door hit you on your way out, yeah?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungcheol gets up and walks off, leaving Taehyun to his own devices. The man sighs and lets his head fall back, closing his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He ends up leaving early, stalking out of his office with his face reverted back to its usual scowl. He tells Secretary Choi, his voice snappy and sharp as he does. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It hurts, though, and Taehyun reasons to himself that it’s just the feeling of betrayal. His secretary is going on a date with his rival - who wouldn’t feel hurt? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>(But really, is it reasonable for him to leave? Should he truly be lying on the ground in his living room, his favorite bottle of wine opened beside him, pretending that the grandeur in which he lives is enough to fill the empty void in his heart? Should he really be lying there if it’s only Beomgyu going out on a date and he doesn’t feel anything?)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun shuts his eyes and tries not to cry, so he doesn’t know what the wet streaks running down the sides of his face are. His chest aches and Taehyun sits up, having decided that death by choking on wine while he’s wallowing is a rather pathetic way to go. He grabs the bottle and brings it to his lips, not caring when he wipes the liquid from his skin that it leaves a stain on his once-pristine white dress shirt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He isn’t quite sure how long he sits there, though he does know that he wakes up with a crick in his neck and an aching back. He sighs and shakes his head, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. The bottle is shut and left in Taehyun’s fridge as he eats an instant ramen pack and throws his contacts in the trash, fumbling around until he gets his glasses. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Taehyun’s phone starts ringing, he is very tempted to crush the device or to chuck it out of the window. He doesn’t, obviously, as he finds himself checking it later. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Beomgyu.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Beomgyu,” Taehyun says, reading the name aloud and tasting the bitterness it leaves in his mouth. He scowls and presses the blaring red decline button, going in and changing the contact name before turning off notifications. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Beomgyu,” he says again as if it’ll bring the man to him. He shakes his head and finishes his ramen, throwing it out before getting ready for bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun goes back to work the next day, though his demeanor is much colder than in the past few days. It’s hard not to notice it, though Taehyun supposes that’s the point. He wants people to know he’s angry, to feel the icy spines of his betrayal and pain. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>(That probably makes him a bad person, now that he thinks about it, but emotions have always made people irrational. Taehyun thinks once is okay.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mr. Kang?” Secretary Choi says, knocking lightly on the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Secretary Choi, reschedule my meeting today for next Wednesday. Also, get me a coffee,” Taehyun says, ignoring the man as he looks through actual reports and scowls. “Also, go through these files again. The numbers don’t match. My God, who did this?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighs, shaking his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mr. Kang,” Secretary Choi says again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m busy,” Taehyun says icily. “Not today.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I’m leaving-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just do them yourself!” Taehyun spits. He waves his hand. “I’m busy, can’t you see? These incompetents haven’t done a single thing correctly, and now it’s up to me to clean up their mess. Bring them in later or just do it yourself.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun doesn’t look up as the door closes, but his eyes do stray from the papers in front of him to Secretary Choi as he walks back to the eager people waiting by his desk. Taehyun shakes his head at himself and gets back to work. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yet, like the fool he is, Taehyun finds himself running back to Beomgyu. The man’s got him wrapped around his finger like it’s nothing; Taehyun seems to be doomed to chase after him for the rest of his life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They walk together to the bus station that night, drowning under their winter coats and scarves. Taehyun feels his heart ache as he looks over at Beomgyu, the blond keeping his eyes on the path ahead of them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Beomgyu,” Taehyun says, his voice so soft he’s afraid the wind might carry it away. To be honest, he’s a bit hopeful that it is. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alas, such a thing doesn’t happen and Beomgyu turns to look at him, eyes sparkling beneath the lights from the lampposts, reflecting the few stars they can see through the city. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please don’t leave,” Taehyun says. He walks closer and reaches forward, lacing their fingers together. “Please don’t leave me, Beomgyu.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Taehyun,” Beomgyu says as he gently pushes him away, “you know that you can’t convince me, don’t you?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please,” Taehyun begs, though he lets Beomgyu move away from him, taking his warmth with him. “Please.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beomgyu shakes his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t,” he says softly and Taehyun swears he’s going to cry in front of this man because he’s so desperate and he just </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows </span>
  </em>
  <span>things are going to fall apart when he’s gone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You said you wanted to get married,” Taehyun says, growing more desperate with each breath. He balls his hands into fists by his sides. “If - if you stay, I’ll let you marry me!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knows the words are a mistake the moment they escape from between his lips. He doesn’t even need the venomous, sarcastic smile Beomgyu’s face shifts to as he shakes his head and laughs hollowly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll </span>
  <em>
    <span>let</span>
  </em>
  <span> me marry you, will you?” he says. He stares at Taehyun, his eyes narrowed. “Sure, sure. What an honor, yeah?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Beomgyu-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Leave me alone, Mr. Kang,” Beomgyu says. He turns away. “I’m leaving, and you can’t stop me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Taehyun doesn’t even try to chase after him because his feet feel glued to the ground as he watches Beomgyu leave, his heart aching in a way that can only be described as ugly and painful. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the bus drives away, Taehyun sighs and shakes his head before walking back to his car. What on earth was he even </span>
  <em>
    <span>thinking</span>
  </em>
  <span>?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next morning, Taehyun feels like he got a hangover from heartbreak. His chest still feels awfully tight and he absolutely despises the feeling as he gets up and trudges to the bathroom, glaring at himself in the mirror as he walks by. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gets to work on time, as he always does, though he finds that Beomgyu’s desk is empty, something he’s never seen before. Well, at least, not since Beomgyu started working under him. He’s always right on time, coming in before Taehyun and beginning to work without complaint. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun sighs and shakes his head, rubbing his eyes and trying to focus on something else. He’s not going to look up, he’s not going to look up, he’s not-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looks up as the door to the office opens and Beomgyu walks in. Strangely enough, his steps seem awfully weighted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun presses a button on his phone. </span>
</p><p>
  <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWYr-35O0Ww">
    <em>
      <span>Crazier Things</span>
    </em>
  </a>
</p><p>
  <span>“Secretary Choi,” he says, “please come to my office.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beomgyu looks up from where he’s taking his stuff out, locking eyes with Taehyun. Then, he walks over, his feet dragging behind him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he comes in, Taehyun sits back and crosses his legs. He grows antsy in the position, though, and leans forward. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Beomgyu,” he says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Secretary Choi.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun swallows hard. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” he says. “Secretary Choi, I’d like to apologize for my behavior last night. It was - it was extremely inappropriate of me to say such things.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beomgyu shrugs and picks at his pants. Taehyun wonders if he’ll ever wear a skirt again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine,” he says. He gets up and Taehyun wants to beg him to stay. “I know that it didn’t mean anything.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It did, though,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Taehyun thinks. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It meant everything because I love you and I don’t know why and I want you to stay. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would - would you grant me the pleasure of dinner together?” Taehyun says. “As an apology and-” his eyes stray to Beomgyu’s nearly-empty desk “-and a last huzzah before you - before you really do leave.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beomgyu shifts uncomfortably. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” he says. He averts his eyes. “I - um, I’m going out with - with Seungcheol again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun tries not to flinch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” he says because he thinks it’d be inappropriate to tell Beomgyu that those words just tore his heart to shreds and shoved him in the mud before telling him to put it back together. It makes him think back to when he accidentally kicked a soccer ball into his mother’s favorite vase and then had to put it back together piece-by-piece. He remembers how his hands had bled and how his cheeks had been wet with tears as he’d begged for forgiveness and received nothing. He’d used an entire box of bandaids to fix his hands and he hadn’t been able to write for a week. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beomgyu smiles awkwardly at him before getting up and bowing, then he walks out. Taehyun has half the mind to chase after him and beg for him to stay and to cancel his dinner with Seungcheol. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Taehyun knows he can’t and he simply watches as Beomgyu walks out, leaving him just like everybody else. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beomgyu leaves two days from then. On a Friday where the sun is shining and the sky is cloudless with only a light though brisk breeze. Taehyun adjusts his tie as he smiles at Beomgyu and holds his hand out to shake it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for all your years of honorable service to the company,” Taehyun says as he shakes Beomgyu’s hand. The older man’s eyes are unreadable and Taehyun is tempted to card his fingers through Beomgyu’s now-silver hair, though he instead lets his hand fall to his side. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for the experience, sir,” Beomgyu says and Taehyun wants to get on his knees and beg for answers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wish you luck in whatever field you are to enter,” Taehyun says as his chest constricts around the words. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wish you luck in your business,” Beomgyu says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The words they share feel far too disconnected for their relationship. But Taehyun knows Beomgyu is no longer his (and, let’s be honest, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Taehyun’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> the one who’s always belonged to Beomgyu) and he has to let him go. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because, just like everyone else, Beomgyu is leaving. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun is ruthless after that. Or, well, sometimes he is. It’s more like his moodswings are. He locks himself in his office and makes his new secretary cry as well as several of his other employees. He’s snappy and quick-tempered or he’s absolutely sullen, moping around the office and doing absolutely nothing whatsoever. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It gets bad enough that Seungcheol himself bursts through the door. Taehyun glares at him and ignores the other CEO as he plops down in one of the plush leather seats in his office. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get yourself together,” he snaps and Taehyun only scowls. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get out of my office,” he says. “Don’t you have things to do? Other than bothering me, that is.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungcheol scoffs, crossing his arms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re absolutely </span>
  <em>
    <span>miserable</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And the sky is blue. Don’t worry, I know.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungcheol snorts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Taehyun,” he says, “you need to get up.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, Beomgyu hasn’t been doing too well either.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun looks up at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” he says. “Aren’t you guys-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungcheol laughs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? No, I’ve never even thought about him in that sort of way. But he’s . . . he’s lost, I guess,” Seungcheol says, shrugging but still eying Taehyun to see his reaction. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Taehyun says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s tried dating.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun’s hands turn into fists. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How’s that been?” he says despite his already shattered heart. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s still single right now,” Seungcheol hums. “He’s never found anyone he clicks very well with. He’s working at a library right now, though he’s planning on going into dance.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun stays silent, though his eyes are wide as he tries desperately to soak up every bit of information Seungcheol tosses at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should come to his recital.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At that, Taehyun laughs bitterly, sitting up and shaking his head at the other man’s words. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What right do I have?” he says, his voice raw with emotion yet totally empty at the same time. “I’ve never done anything for him, why should I go? It’s not like he wants me to.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungcheol hums before he takes something out of his pocket and places it on Taehyun’s desk. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He wanted you to have it since he thought you’d blocked him,” Seungcheol says. He straightens his tie and arches an eyebrow before surveying the mess Taehyun has become. “You haven’t, have you?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I could never,” Taehyun says, the words escaping before he can even try and stop them. “It hurts to think about.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seungcheol laughs and shakes his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well then, Taehyun,” he says as he begins walking out, “I hope to see you there.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>For one of the first times ever, Taehyun smiles at the other CEO as he leaves. Then, with shaking hands, he unfolds the small slip of paper. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Inside, the only things written are an address and a contestant number. Taehyun swallows hard before sliding the slip of paper into his pocket, his heart pounding as he calls his secretary and asks her to make sure his schedule is clear for all of Saturday. She tells him no, he doesn’t have anything to do, and Taehyun feels so happy he almost does a lap around the office. He doesn’t, of course, and instead chooses to sit nervously in his office as he waits for the day to come to an end. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Saturday rolls around, and Taehyun finds himself stumbling about as he gets dressed, grabbing a sweater and winter coat before dashing out the door. He hopes he doesn’t drive near any cops or speeding cameras because he’s quite certain that he’s going above the speed limit, but he can’t bring himself to care as he parks and runs out of the car. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He finds a seat and begins tapping his foot, bouquet clutched in his hands as he waits. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taehyun watches several performances before Beomgyu comes out. The man moves as gracefully as a swan, freshly-dyed black hair complimenting the silver of his outfit. Taehyun’s heart leaps into his throat as he watches Beomgyu spin and dance on stage, his mouth feeling awfully dry. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the performance finishes, Taehyun stands up and claps for him, grinning from ear to ear. Beomgyu’s gaze locks with his and Taehyun stops suddenly, staring at the other man. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then, Beomgyu’s smile brightens as he bows a final time and runs backstage. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s difficult to find him when the performances end. Taehyun cranes his neck as he searches the crowd, bouquet pressed protectively into the crook of his arm as he does. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Beomgyu!” he calls. “Beomgyu!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He keeps pushing through the crowd, frowning. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then, just as he opens his mouth to repeat his name, he sees him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Beomgyu,” Taehyun breathes. The dancer smiles at him as he walks up and Taehyun hands him the flowers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Beomyu says, and Taehyun nods. He chews on his lower lip and shifts in place. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look, I -” Taehyun pauses and tries to think because his emotions tend to get the best of him when he’s around Beomgyu “-I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beomgyu shifts in place and shrugs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, it really isn’t,” Taehyun says, running a hand through his hair. He sighs and shakes his head. “It’s just - you told me you were leaving and everything seemed to fall apart.” He shifts. “I just - you’re really important to me, you know? And I don’t - for a while, much too long, I’ve tried to convince myself that it’s just because you’re an amazing employee, but . . .” Taehyun trails off, looking to the side “but I really - that’s not true.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beomgyu stares at him, his eyes soft and earnest as Taehyun tries to articulate his feelings. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You - I - we - Beomgyu, I think -” Taehyun looks up and locks eyes with him, the breath being stolen from his lungs by the older man the moment he truly looks at him. “Beomgyu, I’m in love with you,” he breathes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beomgyu stares at him, his eyes wide and his lips parted. The bouquet in his hands is pressed against his chest and Taehyun feels his heart pound as he waits. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then, ever so softly, Beomgyu’s face breaks into a smile and he walks forward, cupping Taehyun’s face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too,” he says. And then they’re kissing each other and Taehyun feels as if he’s flying. He holds his hips and he thinks he hears the bouquet fall, landing with a soft noise though neither of them can be bothered to pay it any attention. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, it’s about time!” a voice says from nearby and both males pull away from each other. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huening!"</span>
</p>
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